


As Much As I Do

by stuffilikeiwrite



Series: The Unexpected Cannot Be Expected [4]
Category: Sherlock Holmes (Downey films), Sherlock Holmes - fandom
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Could Be Friendship Only or Not, Gen, Holmes' Final Thoughts Before the Fall, Just Follows Canon, M/M, Mostly Just Canon Based, Movie: A Game of Shadows, POV Sherlock Holmes, Possible Unrequited Love, Reichenbach Angst, Reichenbach Falls, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffilikeiwrite/pseuds/stuffilikeiwrite
Summary: "I know you love him as much as I do."Mary had no idea how right she had been.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: The Unexpected Cannot Be Expected [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808986
Comments: 16
Kudos: 66





	As Much As I Do

_"I know you care for him as much as I do,"_ Mary had said.

Holmes knew this was it. 

He had won. 

Check and mate. 

And still, as he eyed Moriarty's triumphant grin, he knew he had lost all the same. The retribution would cost him everything he had left. He had promised Watson this would be their _last_ adventure, their final endeavour. Moriarty had other plans in mind; the very thought of his sadistic revenge making Holmes' skin crawl with a nauseating unease. The cold hands of fear clawing at his unruly heart; almost as freezing as the unforgiving Winter air, or the ice crystals rising from the roaring waterfall. He had no choice; the air sucked out of his lungs. Every card on the table; no aces left up his sleeves.

He smiled. 

A false, fake; painfully plastered visage. Crackling at the edges, his dark eyes hollow and for once betraying his emotions. His swollen, bruised cheeks aching with the strain. Jaw set hard, defiant; he still had one option. It might not be his best; but it _would_ keep Watson safe. That was all he needed. 

All that _mattered_.

Embers blown into his enemy's eyes; to blind him temporarily. Three swift moves, and he had Moriarty trapped in a tight, vicious headlock. Back facing the towering heights, the vicious streams of black water - the promise of a certain demise. The damp chill seeping through the back of his overcoat. Inevitable. He took one last glance at the world he'd be leaving behind. A closed doorway; and behind it, Watson. _Safe._

They had just danced. The smell of tobacco and cologne that wasn't Holmes' still lingering in his nostrils. A comforting reminder, to lend him the courage necessary. To reinforce it.

Until the hefty doors were pushed open.

Watson. 

Of _course_. 

He'd always seemed to know when he was needed. As if he could sense the turmoil, the struggle. Aware of Holmes' reckless ways. As if he knew what Holmes was about to sacrifice. 

Although, he'd never know _what for_.

Watson's fair eyes were light with the adrenaline rush of a shared victory, confusion immediately replacing any suppressed relief. Reluctant understanding. As if he refused to believe what he was witnessing, refused to believe the prize to pay. 

Holmes let his dark gaze linger; certainty washing away any doubts he may have had. Memorizing the familiar five o'clock stubble, the ever so slight widening of his companion's eyes as it all dawned upon him. As the horror etched itself into every age line, every crease. Holmes felt the corner of his lips twitch. Loyal til the end. It was only just he repay that favour.

Eyes sliding shut; Holmes allowed the image of Watson's familiar features be the last thing he saw. It was a pleasant treat, like a small blessing in disguise. One he'd be forever grateful for; albeit the sting of guilt that came along with it - wishing Watson could have been spared the sight. 

Wishing Watson could have been left with a brief sliver of hope; hope that Holmes may still be out there. Still be within reach.

With one determined shove, Holmes allowed himself to let go. To topple backwards over the railing; tumbling aimlessly into the bottomless fathoms below. Allowing himself to be selfish, validating the knowledge that he had finally outsmarted Moriarty's intellect. For Moriarty knew not the meaning of sacrifice. Yet, the brief moment of pride that victory brought, was immediately drowned out by the weight of the decision. Anything to keep Watson from harm. Come what may.

_How soothing. A poor man’s comfort._

That would be the very last thought running through his head, the very last emotion tugging at his heart strings. His very own sort of solace.

A life for a life. 

_"I know you love him as much as I do."_

Mary had no idea how right she had been.

After all, what good would the victory have served Sherlock Holmes, _without_ his dear Watson along for the ride to celebrate it?

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp, this happened.
> 
> I watched A Game of Shadows for the first time through and through, and now I'm in love with the movie - as well as RDJ and Jude Law's takes on Holmes and Watson. Thus, I wrote this snippet while attempting to grasp their characterizations - Holmes' particularly. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
